Overcoming disappointments
"Real failure is the one from which we learn nothing."
John Powell
How often have you felt disappointed and discouraged after writing an examination for which you thought you had prepared well? How often have you lost interest in a subject after the examination? It can feel like such a slap in the face when you don't get the reward the hard work deserves. Well, disappointments are part of everyone's life. When disappointed we feel that we are let down and defeated. Disappointment doesn't feel good, but it can be beneficial if we interpret it in the right way. Disappointment is, in fact, just like any other uncomfortable emotion we experience every day.
Disappointment can be a compelling emotion that can help you clarify your expectations and pave the way toward attaining your goals.
The first point to do when you feel disappointed is to accept that feeling. when you are hurt. It means you are caring about your studies. So don't pretend that you are fine and nothing has happened. It's good to feel sorry for yourself after a disappointing experience.
The second point is to reflect on what has happened and how you can improve. This is very important because your performance was below your expectations even when you had prepared well. This shows that specific changes are to be brought into your study pattern, especially if you frequently make the same errors.
In her New york times bestseller, Mindset, Professor Carol S. Dweck cites the experience of a student whose application to a graduate school was rejected, which she never expected. After overcoming the initial shock and feeling of depression, she decided to apply next year once again. Then on the very next day, after regaining her composure, she called the college office and politely enquired about the reason for her application being rejected. She told them that if she knew the grounds, then next year, she could make the necesseray corrections and improve her application when she applies again. At the same time, she was careful enough not to dispute the decision of the authorities. Her approach impressed the people in charge of the admission, and she got a letter of acceptance from school one week later.
Most students are disappointed after writing the examination because they always focus on the marks or grades they are about to receive. You must know that what is more important is the process of reaching your goal. This is the third and most crucial point. Goals are essential, no doubt but after setting your goal, concentrate on the process by which you will reach there. Your method for reaching the target is learning; once you experience learning as something joyful temporary setbacks will not be a massive cause of concern. The disappointments and the temptation to quit arise because you study only to get a good score.
Finally, take personal responsibility for your failure. Don't try to blame your teachers, parents or friends for your lacklustre performance. Only if you take responsibility for what has happened you can move on to the next step.
As pointed out in a Newyork times article, don't transform an action ( I failed ) into an identity (I am a failure).